Work Life Balance

Yesterday while I was working I thought to myself, “I could do this all day long!” And that’s a good thing because that was the plan. I recently went from a very loosy-goosy, vascillating schedule of some weeks a lot of work, some weeks very little to full-time — sometimes more, occasionally a lot more.

I was worried about returning to this full-time schedule. When I sold my business a few years ago I was committed to slowing down, to having an easier, simpler life. I vowed never to return to the stresses of that lifestyle. When I took on this fulltime schedule I fretted about what would become of my happiness. I worried about my work life balance. 

When I first started this new full-time regime I didn’t love my new job. I didn’t fully understand my new role and the learning curve was steep and hard. I was convinced that I’d have to abandon ship. But now I know what I’m doing, I’m more competent in my role, and it turns out I like my job! I don’t resent the hours I work. It feels right and I feel balanced.

The great irony is that I I feel like I actually have more work life balance than I had before. I am a person with a ton of energy. I am always planning, organizing, creating something. My partner calls me Hamilton (Why do you write like you’re running out of time). Productivity is my love language and is hard for me to sit still. 

Working this much turns out to be just what the doctor ordered. Before I had too much life, too much time to fart around and create things to produce. Now I have enough work to keep my inner Hamilton occupied. And still I have time for life, much more time than I thought I’d have. I still make granola and take walks. I still have time to see friends and talk on the phone. I still eat dinner with my family at a decent time. I’m planning a reunion with my four siblings and another with my high school friends. My days are and full and it suits me. Like Hamilton, I like to get the job done and my new work life gives me that opportunity everyday, all day long. And I get paid! 

The thing I’m most grateful for is that I’m happier right now. I feel more like myself when I’m working. I feel more alive, more engaged, more me. I feel like a better mother, a better partner, a better sister, daughter, and friend. I know a lot of people struggle with work life balance. Their work is too much and there isn’t enough time for life. I’ve been there. That’s real and I know I could get there again, even with this job that I like.

Today I have work life balance and it feels good. I won’t count my chickens before they hatch; things could change — my boss could leave or my family responsibilities could get heavier. Life isn’t predictable and I don’t know how things will go. But for right now I am gratefully aware that I have something I only dreamed of in years past. Today, in this moment, right now, I have work life balance.