Pick Me! I Have A Great Personality!

Many years ago, a friend shared with me that, though she’d been in the same position for over a decade, she regularly changed jobs in her mind. Though this friend really loved her job, every few years she’d feel frustrated or unstimulated or trapped. 

“I go through the whole process,” she explained to me one afternoon, “I look for jobs that are interesting to me, I apply, I interview.” And then, she explained, even when she is offered a new position, she realizes she doesn’t want the new job.

“It’s like entering a different reality for a little bit of time,” my friend explained. It made total sense to me. This process of redirecting her path, even just theoretically, helped my friend to see that she actually liked the path she was on. Eventually my friend did leave her job. She left, not because she found a new job, but because she wanted to start a business of her own. 

I have shared my friend’s strategic advice with many people over the years and I’m the process of doing it myself. My job is okay. Some days it’s great. Other days it is incredibly frustrating, and often, it’s just neutral. I’ve been applying for other positions, jobs that spark my interest.

I search multiple sites and follow the crumbs of curiosity that are activated by the job descriptions I read. Some mornings I can spend hours following different rabbit holes through websites, staff pages, testimonials. Every so often, I apply for a position.

This involves redrafting my resume and cover letter to fit the position. As I reread my resume, I’ll remember some training I did that might appeal to the hiring committee or change verbiage to fit the specific activities outlined in the position description. 

Occasionally, I get an interview. Preparing for the interview takes me further down an imaginary path. I answer questions in my head that I might be asked. I relive my proudest work moments and try to articulate my greatest professional weaknesses. I make notes, outlining my strengths and experience in different areas. I visualize myself doing the job at hand.

This whole process excites and energizes me. I have drafts upon drafts of resumes and cover letters in my Google drive. At this point, I know which resumes are the best to tweak for specific positions and I can spit out a new one in just minutes. 

The process helps. As I imagine myself doing something else, I have gratitude for my current job. I can see the bright spots, and the dark ones feel lighter because I’ve opened the window to other possibilities. 

On days when my current position feels really unbearable, I wish it was easier to just slip into something different, like I slip into my sweatpants after a long day in jeans. I wish for an everyday job that fits me more comfortably than the one I am in now.

I start the process again — look at the job sites, find a post that I can fantasize about, redo the resume and cover letter, send it in. I experience that familiar release, like a deep breath, while seeing a shooting star. For a moment, I am relaxed and delighted. 

But I have to admit, it’s tiring, putting myself out there and waiting to see if me on paper sounds good to the review team. Some days I feel like it would be more effective to just sit in the lobby of my dream job and say to people as they walk by, “Pick me. I have a wonderful personality. We could do great things together.”

And I believe this. I’m a quick learner. I’m creative, energetic, and a hard worker. Sadly, it doesn’t work this way. At 54 I’m no spring chicken. Bosses decades younger see the year of my college graduation is before they were even born. I imagine them dismissing me out of hand, their subconscious (and their conscious) telling them, “she’s too old.”

At 54 I’m also a jelly bean jar full of experience. I’ve had multiple careers and relationships. I’ve raised a child, been through loss, terrible presidents and world events. And, I want to tell this vast hiring committee in the ether, “I have a really great personality. We’d have a blast working together.”

My friend was right. Fantasizing about a new position and going through the steps to get there is a useful tool for finding gratitude in the job I have. It’s a helpful exercise to review my resume and regularly acknowledge and recognize the work I’ve done and the skills I’ve built over my three decades in the professional realm.

But it’s also hard. Applying for a new position in this shiny new world of younger people makes me feel kind of pathetic. I feel like Mel Brooks in a tuxedo standing under a marquee with his name, fancy pink light bulbs flashing as he shouts into a paper bullhorn what a great show he’s got going. Next to Mel is a young woman behind a sleek glass facade, casually sitting in an Eames lounge chair, laptop balancing on one side, latte on the other, comfortably waiting, knowing that she’s the chosen one.

I know the job I have now isn’t one I want. I know that I’ll leave at some point. The stars will align and the right job with the right team at the right time will come together. I’ll find a match. I’ll go through the steps again and again until I get there. I see the value in this. I really do. But honestly, I wish someone would just hire me for my great personality.